


White Radiance

by Artheusearl



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Drama, Dreamlike state, Fluff, Friendship, Hints of Fantasy, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, breakdowns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-07 17:21:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11628270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artheusearl/pseuds/Artheusearl
Summary: Some things in life are more like little stardusts in the air, either disappearing with little traces or none at all. But not all stay hidden in depths of every human's dreams. Some of them come true like miracles, and Alfred have seen that they do.





	1. Winter Solstice

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work inspired by an art made by a special someone. The chapters are already done but I'll be posting them depending on the availability of my resources. For now, I hope you'll enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. :)

At that very moment, the sky was as bleak as the white lace of ice coating on the ground. With no sign of life sprouting out from the dirt and rocks, it made the surrounding dreadfully barren and colder as ever. Arthur walked aimlessly towards the inner part of the forest, trying not to convince himself to go back from whence he came from. He was sure that it hadn't been more than an hour yet since he went out for a walk. It was surprisingly bright then, but now it seemed like the clouds were telling him that the dusk was approaching and it would be nightfall soon. _What time was it when he left? One o'clock in the afternoon?_ Weird. It shouldn't be this dark already. Surely, there wouldn't be chances of rain in the beginning of actual winter? The dirt were already frozen still.

He continued to walk nonetheless, until the sky finally grew dark and the whole place was engulfed with nothing but the void. The moon has yet to come, but surely it would in a bit. It made young Arthur felt scared though; right, he had been always scared of the dark. He could had went home when he had the chance for it was too late to turn back. The path he had walked into was no longer visible.

_**Tap, tap, tap.** _

Arthur brought himself into a halt. He looked around him. There seemed to be a noise coming from a distance. Tapping noises? Like hooves? What was that? He looked up and caught a glimpse of the moon hiding behind an almost fading cloud. Were there actual moons during winter? He had never asked nor thought about it. But seeing the pretty round object in the sky wasn't what made Arthur walked even deeper into the mouth of the forest. The tapping noises grew even louder and there by the distance was a blinding light spreading across a high rock by the river, making the water gleam into tiny crystals. No, that wasn't the light of the moon, was it? It was too bright and beautiful, as if it was there to lure lost children or travelers and set them trapped into an unknown paradise -- just like how it lured Arthur in.

He walked, walked, and walked; closer and closer, until he came falling down an unseen broken path. There went poor Arthur down a cliff, a very high one, dangerous and cruel --

_But what was that?_

He felt nothing. No pain or even scratches. Did he even fall in the first place? He didn't feel himself hitting the ground harshly like any other human or object could had suffered from for falling from a high place. But when he opened his eyes, the once dark surrounding was replaced by a strong light. It was too bright that he thought he would get blinded, but no. That light actually did save him from that fall. And it was no ordinary light, indeed.

Once his eyes finally adjusted to the brightness in front of him, Arthur realized that it was a creature. Something that he had never seen before. Well, he did see a horse many times, but not as white as this one, not as grand and not as pretty, for it owned a sharp pointed horn on it's forehead and a pair of beautiful angel wings on its back. And it's eyes? It was a pair of crystal blue orbs that seemed to scream it's modesty and pure-heartedness. The stares gave Arthur a sense of security and warmth. It was too perfect that his heart was caught in an instant.

 _Oh, but what was it doing there?_ Why was it there in the first place? Was it actually there or he was seeing things? Arthur pondered for a bit. He had read about the creature before. It was a breed of a Unicorn and a Pegasus, such mighty glorious and gorgeous being.

"Were you the one who saved me?" Arthur asked softly, as his hand made its way on the creature's head, in which it returned with a gentle caress on Arthur's cheek, signifying that it wanted to be friends. "Ah, you're so nice. Thank you for saving me." Now, he felt really secured and the darkness no longer scared him.

Arthur swore he could had chosen to be there forever. But the creature seemed to be giving him a sign that it was dangerous to be alone in the forest and that he should go back. He never wanted to leave but the creature bent its leg and offered to give him a ride back home in which he accepted.

That night had been one of the best night Arthur had, for they flew up in the air and danced along the little lights radiating in the sky, until his eyes gradually close and everything seemed dark once more.

++

When Arthur woke up later on, he found himself back in his room. It was still dark. What a long night. There was a sense of hesitation and regret deep in his heart for he remembered it clearly. But now he wasn't so sure if it was nothing but a dream or reality. The thoughts and the light feeling wouldn't leave him be that it made him fall back asleep in an instant.

That wasn't the end of his journey, though. The next day, he attempted to go back to the forest to find the creature, but alas he went back home finding nothing. The day after that, he did the same thing. As expected, he saw nothing. The day after that day, he walked back in as well, finding nothing, not even a sign. But he didn't lose hope on the fourth day. He stayed there much longer until he grew weary from walking and had to take a rest on the root of a huge Oak tree near the place where he first saw the creature. Sadly, the darkness started to scare him off again, this time making him burst into pitiful cries which lulled him into a deep, deep slumber. When he awoke again, the darkness seemed to alleviate, for in the corner of his eyes was the same brightness that made his heart flutter. Without much of a thought, he ran and dive into the warmth of the creature. His tears wouldn't stop but it was of no pain but tears of joy.

"Ah, you've been here all this time," he whispered as he nuzzled his face against it. He felt so secured once more. There was something with that creature which gave him so much strength and the will to move forward. He was happy, contented, and fearless.

_If only..._

_Only..._

"I want to stay here forever."

It gave him no answer, but a sign it did. They walked together, enjoying the serenity of the night while watching the moon and the snow collide their whiteness with one another. The creature made into a halt and it brought Arthur up the radiant sky once more.

And again, it was on of those best night. 

He had nights like those for a month. Beautiful perfect nights. 

As broken as it be, there was no such thing as an endless happiness; for every time, he would wake up back in his cold and empty room.

_"How cruel..."_


	2. Dark Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I haven't been updating. I've caught a flu and I'm still recovering, but to make it up to those who want to see the rest of the chapters, I'll post two today. Enjoy reading and don't be shy to drop some feedbacks.

When they said happiness was temporary, Arthur knew that they were right. He had believed in dreams and fantasies during his childhood, but he had never experienced something as magical as this. Although the same with all the magic in the world, it pops out of nowhere and disappears like little stardusts in the air, leaving no traces boring on the dirt. His first month of stay in the country side had been very fruitful and radiant, even though the beginning of winter meant more cold nights and dark surroundings. It was fine. He was even happy beyond content. Riding the back of the creature he grew friends with as they soar high up in the air, while watching the stars dance along the void, were one of the things Arthur had never thought of experiencing. But all of that changed when the next winter month slowly crawled up into the Earth.

It was the start of Arthur's darker nights.

He had his hopes high up in the firmament, convincing himself that his happiness will last even though he knew it could be fleeting. He held on tight to it, but once January came, it was over.

Arthur went back to the forest that day, expecting that it will be like any other days were he could see his friend. Alas, what he was dreading happened right at that moment where he waited until the night fell but he found no creature galloping towards the distant to greet him. He felt dejected. But he didn't lose hope just like the first three days that he didn't see its face.

He went back there again and again.

_Every morning._

_Every afternoon._

Even during the moon sneaks up fast the clouds to shine light all over the place.

But he saw nothing. No one. Not even it's light, nor it's cries of happiness.

Weeks passed but still nothing.

_"Where are you?"_ he asked a bit louder. And as his voice echoed through nothingness, he felt more alone. He heard nothing but the creepy rustling of twigs caused by the harsh winter air and the trudging of his shoes against the icy surface of the snow. The surrounding was turning darker as he walked farther. He felt really scared. Utterly scared. The night animals who should had been asleep throughout the whole winter were surprisingly awake and making noises which seemed to make the forest more alive with haunting feels. Arthur sort of could feel that he was getting numb. He could feel no warmth from his thick mittens, nor from his scarf and wool coat, which gave him more and more feelings of danger. He went to a halt once more; the gradual sensation of tiredness was getting to him and he could feel his heartbeat going faster than average. His hands started to shake and his chest began to tighten. As tears eagerly rolled down from his eyes, his legs began to wobble and he found himself leaning on a tree branch, desperately trying to breathe while looking around for more signs of his lost friend. But nothing seemed to alleviate the feeling he was having. Moreover, the mist seemed to grow thicker and thicker. And the once supposedly black and white surrounding slowly turned red and morbid. More thoughts began to haunt the boy's mind. The more he thought, the more he cried louder.

He was in pain.

"Please!"

He cried and cried and cried, until his whole body gave in and he fell on the cold ground, tear-stained eyes slowly closing.

_Where..._

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

_Where could it be?_

_Where?_

"It's so very cold..."

Right there and then, Arthur knew he was alone for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, that was kind of short. I probably got too lazy writing this chapter.


	3. Northern Lights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a longer chapter. Enjoy!

_Darkness._

_Darkness._

_Darkness._

And hope.

Arthur spent the rest of his second month curled up in his room. Ever since he had a breakdown in the middle of that winter night, he refused to leave the comforts of his bed; although it barely gave him the real comfort that he needed, it gave him a sense of restriction. He needed that, at least. He could had just chosen not to leave the house in the first place. In that way, he wouldn't had met the creature and he wouldn't suffer from loss and a heartbreak.

But, thinking more about it, Arthur felt more in pain. Just the thought of not meeting his friend sent great sorrow in his mind and heart.

Would it be better if he waited for a bit longer? Would it fill the emptiness in his heart if he just pushed himself out from those remaining days to continue searching? If only he was patient and brave enough to do so.

++

Arthur slowly got up from his bed to move across the window. It was past seven in the evening and the moon was up and shining bright once more. It clearly made the snowy plains outside looking more defined and white. For some unexplained reason, the night was more serene and inviting unlike the other nights where it was cold and harsh. That at least had made Arthur pondered about the happy experiences he had on that month with his friend.

He sat by the window sill, trying to entertain himself from the lack of noise and vibrancy his grandparents' house emit. As he looked further out the window, towards the snowy ground and white leafless trees, his mind began to wander off to his little paradise. Thoughts of being in a place filled with magical creatures, talking flowers, golden rivers, and moving mountains began to flourish around the whole scenery. There emerged beanstalks with hanging morning glories from the dirt, vines with pretty roses sprouted from all sorts of directions and the tulips and waterlilies began to sprinkle light dusts in the air. They sparkled like crystals and they scattered without a care along the breeze, chanting little tunes which made the trees and grasses glow and sway. His winter had changed itself into a little spring wonderland, that showed magic carpets floating in midair, with dragons, fairies, phoenixes roaming the sky in a happy circular motions. They lured Arthur in, farther and farther from the reality of his cold, empty bedroom. His feet had led him walking up in the air, flying, and meeting countless of constellations in the sky. His head would be nodding, arms dancing, and body twirling along an unfamiliar melody. He felt so happy.

_Oh, so happy._

Until a light showered upon the creatures and a more majestic one emerged, with it's wings flattering in gentle strides, feet halting, and creating a sound of pure bliss.

Right there and then, Arthur's happiness doubled up for he was no longer daydreaming and was now seeing the actual thing.

He bolted upright, legs falling firmly on the wooden floor of his bedroom, his hands grasping the knobs of the window. It flared open and the icy feel of the night breeze greeted him. But it didn't matter one bit, for Arthur knew that tonight marked the beginning of being in his real little paradise. The creature floated down the sky and landed without a noise on a pile of snow. It's whiteness was nothing compared to the snow itself. He stood there, looking straight up into Arthur's window. For a moment, the lad felt a little scared. _What if it disappeared once he took his eyes off it? Should he go down? Should he leave his post?_ He felt the panic surged through him, but the excitement in his veins was more apparent that he made the decision of quickly dressing himself warmly into a fine thick clothing. He opened the window, put on his boots, and stepped out from there, slowly making his way down -- careful not to make a noise or hurt himself. Once his shoes felt the familiar hardness and softness combined of snow underneath its sole, his ears perked up and the smile on his face grew wider.

It was still there.

He ran towards it as quickly as possible, not minding the squeaking sound his shoes made and his struggle of keeping the air intact in his lungs. He caught his breath and lunged forward, hugging the creature and crying in pure joy. "Y-You're here! You're really here! I missed you!" Arthur couldn't believe it but it was so real not to trust any possibilities.

Right there he knew he was no longer alone.

++

He had been right about his premonition. It was indeed the start of his more perfect nights. His last winter month wouldn't be in naught. For the following days, even weeks, his encounter with the creature grew frequent. And as they spent more time together, they grew much closer and closer.

It made Arthur really, really, really happy.

"Should I name you?" The young Briton asked as he caressed the Uni-Pegasus' hair gently and lovingly. It was the last day of his winter vacation and seeing the little green colours sprouting from all corners, it marked the soon-to-be-beginning of spring. "I just thought we had been friends for long. I think you have the right to have a name." He smiled. The magical creature let out a sound of approval, nuzzling back on Arthur's cheeks which made the boy giggle. "You're one of the greatest gifts I ever had. So being great, I think I should name you Alfred. How's that?" he said, picking up excerpts from his country's history. As a response, the creature neighed and bowed his head as if it was greeting a royalty, signaling Arthur to hop on it's back once more in which Arthur accepted without hesitation.

He was feeling light, but for a moment he felt sad.

_Last winter day..._

It would mean the last time he would ride the Uni-Pegasus' back. The last time he could see it. The last time they would spend time together.

As his tears began to fell from his eyes, it was also the cue the creature gave for they soar up in the air once more, just like how it did the first time they actually spent time together and the rest of they days in which they did. In an instant, Arthur forgot all about the sadness.

It was beautiful. The scenery was breathtaking that Arthur felt like he was in heaven itself. Below him were countless of trees, hills, and rivers -- coated with a pile of snow that was slowly melting from the lash green colours of the upcoming spring. Mint and gray clashed, turning the blackness of the night in what seemed like a delectable cake, making Arthur crave in anticipation. That wasn't all. Across the firmament spread a really huge streak of light, looking like it was melting down the sky itself and drizzling down nature. Green, blue, purple, red, yellow, and orange lights merged together and swayed up and down the starry-filled welkin. It was as if it was dancing and it made Arthur's eyes flutter and blink; his face glowed at he stared at it more.

"The Northern Lights!" he squealed, arms moving up and fingers pointing high up there. "I never knew I would see one. It's so pretty, Alfred!" He clasped his hands together now, not holding unto the creature anymore as he trusted him so much as to not let him fall. They circled around up there, admiring the view. As they stayed longer, the more the Aurora Borealis spread more gradients across the land below. It showered little drops of colours down trees, grasses, dirt, rivers, and mountains, making them look like they were decorated with Christmas lights and gems of all shades.

It was breathtakingly stunning.

Arthur felt like he was having the best day of his life.

He leaned down and embraced the creature, his head resting on the back of the Uni-Pegasus' head, tickling on the feel of its hair against his cheek. He felt so secured and warm. They had been up there for quite some time now and had already flew a great distant far-off. It was now time to go home. He could almost see his house in the distance. It was tiny from his point of view but nonetheless admirable to look at. The roof seemed to be shining red, purple, and yellow. But then again, as much as he was admiring it, the more he felt his heart sink. _Was it time?_

"Alfred, you made me really happy," he whispered. He tightened his grip on the creature and hid his face on its mane. "Can I stay up here with you forever?"

It was silly to ask. He knew that his friend had never once spoken to him and no matter how many times he ask it the same question, it would never say a word to him. But at the moment, he deemed himself wrong. He noticed how it's movement slowed. It stopped moving for a minute or so, wings only flapping gently to keep them above. Arthur could hear no noise anymore, the sceneries were present but the sounds disappeared.

Not the sound of the breeze...

The animals...

The flapping of wings...

Nor even the sound of his own breathing.

But for a moment, he was so sure he heard a soothing loving voice echoing around him.

**_"It's time to land. Wake up, Arthur."_ **

Right there his eyes fluttered open and everything was white.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, Alfred. I love you.


	4. Somber Sunset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I am back after a day of rest, deciding to post another chapter 'cause I have nothing better to do and I'm still suffering from my asthma. This chapter may confuse you though, since it's different from the rest, but this will give you more hint if you were already confused in the first place.
> 
> For questions, leave a feedback! Enjoy reading!

There wasn't much in it for him. He tried his best and he managed to catch him from impending death. He was proud of it, of course, but he felt so empty every time his eyes would land directly on a pair of closed orbs. The person's unblemished skin would always glow against the borrowed light of the moon as if it was a porcelain plastered with a smooth material, but amidst the beauty, what he truly wanted to see clearly was the glow in those eyes.

How long has it been since he last saw it?

He knew it wasn't that hard to pray for a miracle, but obtaining it was far from any possibilities during these critical times. All he could think of right now was to never lose the hope he had been holding unto for the past years and the desire to make his stay in that cold colourless room less darker.

_Ah, the irony of it._

He stood by the foot of the bed, body inches away from the window. He looked outside and a sad smile slowly crept on his lips. Outside the window, the sky was beginning to blind his eyesight rather than welcome his gaze with clear perfect streaks of blue and white; a mixture of serenity and grief overwhelms the surrounding. But as the sinking sun passed over the horizon, it's radiance continuously spread a glaze of gold spotlights, making the sky appear more reddish as the colours mix with each other. The twilight finally began to emerge behind the brightly-coloured clouds -- sending shades of orange, pink, purple all across the monochrome interior of the quiet room he was in. It was slowly beginning to turn darker as expected. It marked another day coming to an end and somewhat it made him feel relieved yet disappointed. 

When did he start getting used to this feeling? As if he was eager for shorter days, wishing for something to end sooner. 

His gaze fell over at the figure lying comfortably on the bed before him. There were no signs of any movements nor the sound of a natural rhythmic breathes, only the nonstop engine of a machine and the distant steps outside. As he began to stare at him, the more his heart fell and break like the many days he spent there over and over again. 

How long was he in that room?

_/ How long did he choose to be in there? /_

He closed his eyes, heaved a deep sigh, and creased his eyebrows the moment he opened them once more. No change still? Back from the very beginning, there were no changes at all. He could still remember the first time he stepped in there. The same sunset, the same scene, the same feeling had happened before his eyes, but there was an overflowing emptiness that had been haunting his spirit ever since he realized what he had been losing. The words that his mouth had let out caused him a great pain, indeed.

_"You're lonely, aren't you?"_ he remembered asking. As he tried to recall, the more his guilt ate him whole. It wasn't just loneliness that he felt, was it? He had caused him more than loneliness and he could feel that he left something scarring behind those unresponsive expression. He knew had no choice, but could he really not blame himself? After all, he was the only person left to show him the happiness a sibling or a parent couldn't give to a child. But he was gone, not only once but twice. He never even expected that their paths would one day crossed again.

He had never expected anything. But the once closed memories began to flood back in and painful wounds reopened without any signs or warnings. This time, it was worst than childhood separation.

_How did this all began?_

 

**-XxX-**

 

The siren continued to scream, making an almost high-pitched ghoulish sound, as the nurses came running out of the building to help the medical team dismount the patient from the vehicle. There were a series of yells and panic; the sound of stretcher wheels screech against the tiles with the fast tapping of heels as they roll the moving bed across the hallway pass a series of unopened doors.

"Please! Help him! Do something! Now! He's losing so much blood!"

The red-head's screams weren't caught much by the busy bunch. He stayed glued beside the moving bed, clutching the boy's hand as tightly as he could as he ran along with the hospital staff. There wasn't much justice to his tears; his little brother wasn't responding no matter how many times he called. And the battling orders being tossed from nurses to nurses didn't in as much help him regulate his breathing which was catching on too much with his neurotic dysfunction. It was too much to bear.

"Doctor! We have a patient for the ER!" That seemed to snap the man from his grief. A young doctor -- tall, sturdy, and owning a dirty blonde hair -- came out in a hurry when he heard the ruckus. His face twisted from a confused look to a serious facade.

"What happened?" He began to ask as he guided them towards the direction of the Emergency room. He sounded more calm than any other doctors the red-head had met over the years. "Vitals?"

"Body Temperature's down to 34 degrees Celsius, Heart Rate up a 100/120, BP's 90/60, Respiratory rate's down to 8 to 10 breaths."

"Critical. What else?"

"Probable brain concussion and internal bleeding, doctor."

As the exchange of information happened before his eyes, more of the impending rise of panic caught up to the man's neurons. His brain found it hard to reconstruct the details and a surge of anger rose up to his whole system as rapid as their movements were as they nearing the emergency room. 

"What the fuck!? Brain concussion!? Internal bleeding!? His vitals are fucking low! Are you insane!? Why are you so calm about this!? He's dying!" 

"Prepare the ICU, Miss Hedervary. We'll be needing it soon," the doctor ordered the nurse closest to him; then he looked up at the red-head. For a moment, the man noticed a pained look on his face. "Also, calm down, sir. Panicking won't help him. He's in a critical situation. The best thing to do is to keep calm and assess the situation carefully." He paused for a bit along with the others and turned to face the young man once more once he plunge open the door of the emergency room, letting the nurses take the patient inside. "We'll do the best that we can. For now, this is as far as you can go. Don't worry, I will try my best to save him," and then the door finally closed on him, leaving his mind to wander in a state of both hopefulness and faith.

 

**-xXx-**

 

"He's unresponsive, doctor. His heartbeat's becoming more irregular," a pale-haired nurse spoke; her hands stayed glued at the apparatus she was holding to keep the patient from losing air.

"He needs an urgent operation. Get the defibrillator, quick!" The neurosurgeon ushered his nurses and the moment he had been given the device, the eagerness in his eyes to save became more visible. "One, two, three... Clear!" Everyone dispersed as the apparatus landed over the chest of the patient, sending electrical shock through his heart to make it stop for a short period of time so it could restart. But his first attempt didn't as much change the person's heart rate. For the second time, he did and he was successful. That was when a life-and-death struggle began for the both of them as soon as the patient stabilized and was ready for an operation.

It was one of the few surgeries that he found very hard to accomplish, for the young man was nearly holding on and had only at least a twenty percent survival rate. But it was also one of the few medical works that he was very thankful for. The surgery lasted for hours but it was worth it at least.

He was able to save another life.

_'I was able to save him...'_

But was he really saved?

 

**-xxx-**

 

He remembered how it was as clear as the day itself. He remembered how the medical staff transferred him in the ICU, how they made those huge machines working, how they attached the ventilator in him, how the thin tubes and needles worked their way inside his skin, and how his knees felt weak and his heart broke once his eyes landed on a piece paper. Memories had began to surge back and a nauseating feeling in his stomach had began to rise up to his throat. He had felt like throwing up. 

It was the first time a name had rendered him broken into concealed tears.

Although, it was still clear how thankful he was for achieving his career this far and how his ten years of stay in medical school had been more than useful than he could had expected. But how come it felt like this was his biggest failure in life?

He could still feel the burning sensation in his mouth as he went out and announced to the same man the boy was with how the operation was a success, but the sound of the man's broken cries echoed again and again in his ears as he told him how the patient had half a percentage chance of reawakening, both unsure how he would survive from this point onward. All they rely to was the life support those machines were providing him.

It was from that beginning that he swore to accompany him from his lone adventure through the dark roads ahead of him.

He swore once and for all that he would never leave. He managed to do so for a month as he sat by the side of the bed retelling old childhood stories about unicorns and vast starry skies over and over again. Although there were moments that he couldn't provide him the bedtime stories, much to his sadness and disbelief. His busy schedule was catching up to him and the longer they both stayed there, the lesser the visits began to became apparent. After a couple of days, or thrice, accompanying him in a world filled with magical doors and flying objects, he had failed to fulfill another promise. It was unfortunate how a few weeks of afternoon visits turned to nothing. He was relocated to another hospital, begged to reach out help to more patients out over the country side. As a practitioner, he had a duty to do so. But as a person, he had a life to embrace. He had failed to give someone the security and warmth they were supposed to be having.

It was a month of torture, a month of isolation, a month of tears, a month of guilt...

He couldn't bear the thought of not seeing him safe and fighting for survival.

He just couldn't...

He had waited for that cold month to end, and once he did, he came back without a thought. There was nothing more important than to see him.

"Hey, it's me... Alfred. I'm sorry for leaving you all alone. I'm back," and a kiss he laid down on his forehead as the sun sink and nighttime began to roll, signifying that it was once again time for the boy's happiness to echo deep in their intertwined minds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yes. Alfred is not a talking Unipegasus.


	5. Blue Daylight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will have to apologize for the overall construction of this fanfic. To be honest, they are a series of one-shots for each artwork my special someone made, so they may look like fragments of a whole. I admit I didn't give much justice to the background of their relationship but I hope you'll still be able to pick up the message of the story.
> 
> We'll see more of Alfred's point-of-view in this one. Have some broken American.

If there was one thing that would be on top of Alfred's priority list, clearing his schedule was his first -- that being associated to his goal of spending more time in a particular hospital bedroom which roughly translating to the Intensive Care Unit that the said hospital had for patients needing severe medical attention. Alfred decided that it was time to at least take a break from the stressful surgeries he had been working his skills for. Although it was mainly impossible to completely stop his medical profession, he had forced his way into filing a special break from his piles of upcoming operations at least, forcing some of them to his co-neurosurgeons, which the latter had accepted knowing the whole story so far. It was a selfish request and sort of very unprofessional but it was something he would be willing to give up his work for, if it meant being able to give his full time and attention to him. No sane person would be willing to double his workload without any guarantee of being repaid, but Alfred was lucky enough to have someone to back him up. It was one of the few things he was thankful for having friends and close colleagues in the field he had chosen.

First off, he was successful with that. Being one of the top doctors in the city, he couldn't entirely leave his series of work. So lessening it was a plus, at least no more overtime and he had the whole afternoon free for his special visits in the ICU. He worked his way up to have that granted on him, doing extra service and community works without complaints at the neighboring hospitals for a whole month -- although it was merely of no choice, he did his best to have it paid off in the end. The first thing Alfred did after going back from his one month immersion at the countryside was to file the request, go home, and went back straight to the hospital with his luggage to camp inside his office _(much thankful for earning the title of the head doctor in the field of neurology for he was granted an office of his own like a mini condo unit.)_

Alfred didn't waste a single moment to rush back in the ICU after making sure the patient was protected from extraneous factors and various infections you could get from outside; one of the rules the hospital set up for the visitors to follow. He was so keen not to add anymore problems for anyone. 

"How are you today?" he asked as he sat by the chair beside the bed. His shaking hands rested on top of the boy's hand and used it to caress it gently and lovingly; although he had troubles hiding his nervousness away. It wasn't the first time that he went and sat there to talk to him, but every time he did, it was as if it was the first time that they met and all of his confidence instantly flown away to the nearest planet. "Hey, I'm sorry. You must had been very lonely when I was gone. But... ah, d-don't worry now. I'll be here from now on." He tightened his hold on his hand for a bit, gently raised it up, and pressed the back against his mask-covered lips. "I haven't told you yet, have I? I didn't realize that it was you. But I had this gut feeling that I know you from somewhere. I guess my hunch was right?" a small laugh erupted from his lips and his eyes began to tear up -- could be from his lack of sleep, from laughing out of nowhere, or from the memories, he couldn't really tell. "When I saw your name, I... I-I just lost it. I-I didn't know what to do. I bet you would laugh at me if you saw me."

He remembered it clearly though; he didn't really bother to look at the patient's information sheet and only did when the surgery was over. The rest of the information written had validated all his hunch and fears, which had instantly sent his mind drowning off to the nearest morbid thought there was.

\---

**PATIENT'S INFORMATION FORM:**

**Full Name: Arthur Ignatius Kirkland**  
**Nickname: Art**  
**Age: 18**  
**Gender: Male**  
**Nationality: British**  
**Date of Birth: April 23, 1998**  
**Place of Birth: Somerset, England**  
**Current Residence: West Chartburn Road, London, England, United Kingdom**  
**_[ More Info below ]_**  
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**IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, PLEASE CONTACT:**

**Guardian's Full Name: Allistor Stuart Kirkland**  
**Contact #: 07311-849251**  
**Current Residence: Chartburn Road, 219 C, Wysteria Street, London, England, United Kingdom**  
**Relation to the Patient: Older half-brother**  
**_[More Info below ]_**  
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_Arthur Kirkland?_

As clear as the blue sky itself, he wasn't mistaken. He was so sure that was the name of that boy he used to play with on that hill near the back of his house; although his memories brought him back to the time where he used to call him Artie instead of Arthur or Art. He could still remember how his golden strands of hair would shimmer under the beamlight, how his fair skin would glow from time to time and would give off a pinkish tint specifically around those pair of little puffed cheeks whenever his emotions would heighten up, how his eyes would project the beauty of the contrasting colour of the sea. From his own eyes, he thought they shone like peridots against the blackness of the night-sky. Although from that second meeting after many years of separation, his once shimmering hair were no longer golden and was tinted with the deepest shade of red, his skin was almost drained of any colours, and his peridot eyes were kept closed and could no longer see the light of the day nor the stars in the night. But despite of the tragedy that had been laid down upon him, a peculiar beauty washed upon his figure -- and it was of no doubt the same friend that he swore to protect many years ago from his childhood.

**xXx ******

********

"Good evening, dear. It's me again -- Alfred. How are you? I hope you're doing just fine. Were you lonely when I was gone?" His fingers once again grazed upon the delicate hand of the boy, hoping that from one of his visits, those pale slender fingers would one day move on its own. "I have a new set of stories for you. Would you like to hear them?" His visits mainly revolved around the same scenario. He would sit down on a chair closest to his head, his hands would gently tap his hair and cheeks in a repetitive manner while his other hand would be firmly locked against his immobile palm, and that was when he would start to retell various bedtime stories and legends he could recall. The same questions and same greetings would always escape his lips, with the same reintroduction of his name day after day, as if he didn't want to be forgotten.

The rest of the weeks from that same month began to exceedingly turned lighter for Alfred. There was still a heavy feeling lingering deep in his heart, although he was getting used to his everyday routine of retelling stories to a sleeping young man with no guarantee of an actual conversation. It was too heartbreaking to the point that somehow Alfred felt like he was getting numb. He wanted him to wake up soon but for some reason seeing his peaceful face was calming itself.

_Would it be better if he refrain from waking up at all?_

_Would that mean no suffering and pain for him?_

It came to the point where Alfred wished it that way. If he wouldn't be ushered with the grace of salvation, Alfred would rather wish for it to end for him once and for all. It meant no more waiting, no more pain, no more nightmares, no more tears.

"Are your dreams beautiful? Would you tell it to me someday?" Alfred moved from his chair and decided to sat on the bed itself. He leaned down closer to the boy's face and kissed his forehead. "I would love to hear it, but maybe it would be best if... if you... tell it to me when we meet again? You know... in that place where no one's going to hurt you anymore. You won't feel anything but joy and contentment. No more needles, no more machines, no more wounds, no more... l-life itself. But I guess you will be free from all this? Maybe it's best if you say ... g-good.. bye now. I-I don't want to see you like this anymore." Alfred's voice finally caught up to him, as it broke and shake on it's way out of his throat. He wanted to sound like he was strong for suggesting such a morbid thing full of mercy, but it was of no use when he began to cry and breakdown once he realized he just wished for someone's death -- and not just anyone, but someone really important. The bitter tears continued to flow, soaking the mask he was wearing in a pitiful sea of saline water.

"I-I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry! P-Please... I-I can't bear this anymore. Please wake up. P-Please... Y-You have to wake up. You can't stay like this forever. Y-You can't... please..."

As his begs continued on, his tears never stopped from coming along. It was the first time in a while that he cried so much for someone. When he lost both of his parents in the same accident which caused the boy's unconsciousness to drift away, he thought his life was over. Three years after, he had managed to recover and had to strive harder in life. It wasn't the first time he lost a special someone, though. The same year that he lost his parents was also the same year their separation took place. He felt not much remorse for the little boy that he left alone when it happened. All he had ever thought of was the fact that he could no longer see his parents. He had never considered his feelings, did he? And that memory drove Alfred into a series of nightmares and endless guilt. He couldn't believe he never considered what the boy would had gone through from his absence until three years later and everything seemed much clearer to him. His heart was broken, yet he also broke someone else's heart. Now, the pain had hit him thrice as much as before.

"Wake up, please."

As they said, happiness was indeed fleeting. But little did some people know, pain could also be as fleeting as happiness had been. No matter how deep a wound was, it could heal through time. It might leave a scar but scars could be removed from proper care and attention. At that moment, Alfred felt like his pain had temporarily flew towards the firmament. His cries were still apparent, but for a moment it stopped. Everything fell silent. But as the silence dwell around the entire room, his hope started to boost from the uppermost part of the ceiling.

Right from that moment, he realized God still shows his mercy if you knew how to ask.

Alfred blinked a few times and stared intently, just in case his eyes had played a trick on him. But it was deemed confirmed once those fingers twitched for the second time.

"A-Arthur?" He looked at his face, his complexion were starting to change. Visible muscle movements from the face could be noticed if one knew how to look. Alfred's heart started to beat so fast that he felt so weak and at the same time beyond excited, especially when the machine started to beep and the patient's vitals started to rose and change.

"O-Oh, god."

Yes, a miracle could happen anytime.

Right from there on, the boy's eyelids slowly moved, until his eyes finally opened.

_Arthur Kirkland was finally awake._

**xXx**

There was a series of commotion in the entire ICU facility, as the nurses came rushing in to check for the boy's entire status. Miraculously, his recovery was without any false wake-up calls. They checked for his vitals and was confirmed that it had indeed changed into its normal rate, although there were still risks that they had to consider. As minor as they were, there wasn't much to worry about. As soon as it was no longer considered a non-critical condition, his relatives were informed of the good news. His older brother had almost fainted from gladness. He felt like a massive fishbone had made it's way out of his throat.

But if there was someone who had the best mixture of feelings, that would be Alfred. He felt like he had won the goddamn lottery worth trillion dollars.

Arthur's recovery rate had started slowly as it would had been expected by anyone. It took him three days before he could finally get out from the clutches of his ventilator tube. It completely stopped his ability to speak and create any sort of noises. Sending nutrients into his body was a bit difficult itself. Alfred made sure that his body wouldn't have a shocking adjustment with food intake. It wasn't advisable to feed the patient right after they wake up and it had urged him to put extra effort in taking care of the boy personally. He had to do the steps bit by bit until Arthur's body could fully adjust.

He had taken the initiative of nursing him back to full health but he was still very stealthy towards it. His visits had still fallen merely during the times when Arthur was fast asleep. Talking directly to him had been much harder than ever as well. It took a week and a couple of days until Arthur was finally able to speak and the same time length for Alfred to finally face him without any sort of guilt and regret.

**xXx**

_"Al... fred?"_ It was during that one particular nice day when Arthur woke up from a short nap. His eyesight adjusted to the plain bright whiteness of his private room and the seemingly blinding light of the sun peeking out from a cumulus cloud.

_Ah, winter had been long over at last._

Arthur stared blankly ahead at a figure looming over him. There was nothing threatening from it, moreover it gave him the same warmth and security he had felt from his endless dreams. "Alfred... is that you?"

_It was you, wasn't it?_  
The one who protected me.  
The one who never made me feel alone.  
The one who served as my light. 

"You've been... here.. before."

Alfred smiled and gently sat beside him, taking both of his hands into his and placing them over his cheeks for warmth before setting them back down. "Yes, it's me," he whispered. "I've been here all this time."

Even if there wasn't much exchange of words between them, Alfred knew that Arthur's memories hadn't completely vanished through time. Despite being way much younger from those years they spent together, he could still recognized him, no doubt about it. He could see from those same Peridot eyes that Arthur was still seeing the same friend that he cherished and longed for despite the gap in their years and the whole separation.

He knew that this was enough.

"I missed you, Alfred."

But there was more to that contentment he felt for the first time.

His voice might had cracked and the tears might had fell the same way they did when he thought all hope was lost, but he still knew he was happy.

And this time, the happiness was no longer fleeting and the pain had no chances of ever coming back.

"Welcome back, Artie."

_This time, I promise never to let go of your hand._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is apparently the last chapter. But the story is still open for a continuation. If you want more, you can tell me and I'll try to work on it. In the meantime, I'll be working on my other planned stories. I hope you enjoyed this so far. :)
> 
> By the way, the address used here are all completely made up. I'm not from UK so I do not know the correct format of their addresses. I tried to research, of course, But my knowledge is still lacking, so forgive me.


End file.
